Wow! Just when our children were raised and became intelligent, thoughtful and kind adults, along came our grandchildren who needed encouragement and guidance.
Teens and Adolescents Need Acceptance and Encouragement
Today's parents and teens face new challenges which make adolescence more troublesome than ever before. But one thing will never change and that is that children, teenagers and indeed all human beings want to be accepted and encouraged.
Nagging is Natural, But Not Effective
When we nag teenagers, we annoy them by persistent fault-finding, criticisms, complaints and demands. We usually fall back on nagging when our children neglect some duty that is routinely expected of them, such as cleaning their rooms, doing homework, taking out the garbage, or picking up their stuff scattered all over the house. It is not the teenager we are irritated with, but the behavior that infringes on our space and comfort.
However, young adults fail to carry out their responsibilities for any number of reasons. Their minds and bodies may be occupied with their own interests and forget how important this task is to you and the rest of the family. Getting an adolescent to do what they should do or what needs to be done to make life run smoothly is not always easy. But, our natural reaction of nagging is not only non productive but often makes the situation worse.
Mentor Teenagers Into Positive Behavior
I am impressed with your strength. Last year you could only carry one bag of groceries and now it is two.
Wow, you have really improved on your hoop shooting this year. let's see you use that talent to get the dirty clothes in the hamper.
I was noticing how kind you are. That is a character strength that is so needed in the world.
We have confidence in your ability to solve this problem.
You are a good person and usually make wise choices.
I know we can count on you to come up with creative ideas.
You are an asset to the family.
You are a very valuable person.
Thanks for being you.
Focus On Progress
When we focus on the progress of life skills, the teenager will want to become a more responsible young adult. Decide in a family council what needs to be done, when it will be done, and how it will be done and the natural consequences of not doing it. By taking the emphasis off the personality of the teen and put on the goal of encouraging positive character traits that will be transferable to other areas of life, we are more likely to attain the desired result.
